Define "chronic" masturbator.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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