Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
