you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
