why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
