It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Randomize
