Your tits are I can't wait for
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Randomize
