The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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