oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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