and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
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