you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
