I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
