some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I intend to get homeless drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
17 year olds will be the death of me.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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