I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
