Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
