No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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