My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
