Christians are straight up FREAKS
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
