ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Randomize
