Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
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