i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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