wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
