Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Randomize
