READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
