I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.