i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car