I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Boobs speak an international language.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
