so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
25 People Share How They Got Out Of Their Longest Dry Spell
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
21 People Confess Their Craziest Online Dating Experience
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.