sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
what day is it and did you see me today?
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
