it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
