that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize
