I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
