Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
