Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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