So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
