On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Farmville is her only friend.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
