Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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