At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
