I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
