I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
