If that was your dad, he is hot
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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