Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
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