you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Randomize
