just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I can't trust your balls anymore.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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