i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
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