I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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