I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Randomize
