it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
