Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I love you. Go after that dick
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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