Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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