I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Randomize
