so that wasnt chicken after all
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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