Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
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