So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
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