people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
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