exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Randomize