Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize