The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
