We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
