there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
